Words On a Page
by glo1196
Summary: A letter to Castle from Kate telling him how much his books meant to her. Will she mail it?
1. Chapter 1

**This is something that would not stop bugging me today. Very different than what I usually write. I hope you enjoy it somewhat. Tomorrow chapter 15 of "OH Castle" will be out. Thank you for reading.**

**Disclaimer- none of these characters belong to me, and that's a darn shame.**

Dear Castle,

I remember the day it happened. I had cried for what seemed like an eternity and when there were no tears left, I started to pick up the pieces, that's when you first entered my life.

I picked up the book from my mother's nightstand and held it to my chest. It still smelled like her. Mom had tried to get me to read it, but part of being a teenager was being stubborn and defiant. I never picked it up, and now it was too late. Now we would never discuss it or share favorite parts. It was still a part of her that I could touch, so I looked for all your books in our house, took them into my room, and read.

The year after her death was horrible. My dad escaped the pain at the bottom of a bottle. I became careless, rode my bike fast and didn't make the best choices in whom I was with and what I did to feel again.

Then I started reading the books and couldn't get enough. In them, I found justice for the victims and their families, the kind my heart searched for. I found a dry humor that cut through some of the darkness enveloping me. I found character I could relate to and wanted to be like. I started to think about law enforcement then.

Your characters brought me peace and a place to escape to, where I could heal and put myself together. They did everything I wish I could do. Then I entered the Academy; I read your books over and over.

I even went to a signing where I met you. The signed book was one of the few that survived the apartment bomb because I keep it stored away; I own it in paperback so it can be read. The rest of the books are worn and well loved.

As I read the books the person that wrote them mesmerized me. I read the book jackets, signed up to your fan club, and always looked to find you on the society page. Let me tell you, you didn't disappoint, you were always somewhere with a beautiful woman draped on your arm.

When I first met you, I was annoyed that the man I had made up was so far from the immature, selfish man in front of me. Though I must say that I was more than tempted to take you up on your offer. Imagine when I went to work the next day and had you assigned by the mayor to be my shadow.

Every tough case we had, I would go back to my apartment and fill the bathtub and soak in it with one of your books. They gave me comfort again. When you left to the Hamptons with Gina and I missed my chance with you, I read your books to get me through the summer, even though I was pissed at you.

Since my mother's death, I have turned to you Castle and you didn't even know it. You saved me from the rabbit hole numerous times, given me peace when I needed it, and an escape when there was nothing else I could do.

You say I didn't see you for three months, and I am so sorry. I needed to put myself back together. I needed to face so many things I was avoiding. But you weren't far away, Castle. You were on my nightstand, on the coffee table, in the car and everywhere around me. I read your words and found comfort and strength in them. I found love, support and hope. I am sorry for not calling.

If you didn't notice when I went to the Heat Rises autograph session, I had my own book, which I had already read and knew the ending. I've already read it three times. I knew it had to have been hard for you, and I am sorry I was not there to help you. The book is one of your best.

So Castle, there is a part of you that will always be with me. That will always be part of my life and my past. You are ingrained every bit of my being, with just your words on the pages. Thank you for sharing your gift and helping me get to where I am today.

Now to describe the man, I have no words, because the words to describe my friend, my partner, my shoulder, my guardian, and my life just aren't enough. Thank you for saving my life and for helping me find life again. Don't give up on me.

Your partner and friend,

Always,

Kate

Kate folded the letter, put it in an envelope and then stuffed it in the top drawer of her desk, until she got up the nerve to send it. She wrote it out, that was a step in the right direction; it was a step closer to healing.

**Thank you for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This story was supposed to be a one shot, but as you can see I decided on one more chapter. Thank you Lunotto for the idea to have Castle find it. Hope you enjoy it. Big night tonight, first time I will update two fanfics at once. Check out "Oh Castle' if you enjoy this.**

**Disclaimer – Obviously I don't have a great bank account so the Castle characters aren't mine.**

**Chapter 2**

Beckett was talking to the boys about the interrogation they were about to do. I was going to sit it out, since I had not been a part of this investigation from the beginning. Kate had, told me to watch from the observation room, but I went and sat at her desk.

Nothing bothered Kate as much as me fiddling and touching her things. The detective was very OCD about where things went on her desk. To play with her mind, I would move her elephants to see if she would notice. She had always noticed and I was treated to her reprimands. It is ok because angry Beckett is hot too.

They went in and I was already antsy. I played with the elephants, then her pens and pencils. I drew a small flower on the corner of her blotter. That was going to cause me pain I am sure. She hates girly stuff like that here in the office, though there is no mistaking that she is 100% girl.

Anyway, I sit back and finally run out of things to mess with on her desk. I look around and no one is paying any attention to me, so I open her top drawer to see what treasures I may find.

Interestingly enough, I see the same stuff everyone else has in their top drawer. Everything is organized, stapler, staples, paperclips, tape, an energy bar (that's a surprise) and pens and pencils galore. Towards the back are empty envelopes and a small roll of stamps.

Something catches my eye. An envelope with my name on it sits there. Interesting.

The envelope is not closed, and there is a page folded inside. My curiosity is getting the best of me. Even though I know I shouldn't pull it out. I sit at her desk and hold the paper in my hand. I am afraid to open it. Inside she could be telling me to stop shadowing her. She could be telling me that she has found someone else. She could be telling me that she is leaving. I don't see a scenario where this is a good thing at all. Yet, here I am with the paper in hand.

I start to open the letter and get lost in the words almost immediately. As I finish reading it, I can hear Kate and the boys returning. It is too late to hide what I have done. She stops and looks at the letter in my hand and the envelope with my name in her handwriting on the desk, and her eyes widen. Across her face panic, anger, sadness flicker. She is as at a loss for words as much as I am.

"Castle, you were never supposed to get that." She says, though I am hardly able to hear her. She is looking down, and when she looks up again, there is such sadness in her eyes that it tears me apart.

"Why Kate?" he says to her and steps closer to her. "This makes me one of the happiest men on earth."

Before he can talk himself out of it, Castle steps forward puts his hands around her and kisses her, right in the middle of the bullpen. He steps back and is grateful that she hasn't hurt him yet.

Kate looks at him and looks at Ryan and Espo who are slack jawed and dumbfounded at the other end of the room. When they see her staring at them they quickly smile at her and find something to occupy their time. Neither of the boys get back to work and glance up occasionally at their friends.

Kate grabs Castle's hand and walks him to the nearest observation room, then closes the door behind her. She sits on the edge of the table and looks at Castle. He steps forward and reaches up to her face, forcing her to look at him.

"Kate is that for real?" he questions.

"All of it Castle." Again she speaks hardly above a whisper.

He kisses her. His lips are as soft as she remembers them. She remembers that kiss from so long ago and this one is so much better. His mouth travels to her neck where he nips at her. Kate wants him, but this is not the place or the time.

"Castle? We need to stop. We are in the precinct and if Gates finds us she will kick you out." She stresses the point and he instantly pulls away. His eyes are dark with lust, but there is also so much more there.

"Detective will you go to dinner with me tonight?" he asks her. He is finally asking her on a date. The smile on his face spreads to his eyes, and she can see how much this means to him. It means everything to her.

"Castle, I thought you would never ask."

**Thank you for reading and please review, it would be greatly appreciated!**


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